We’ve all heard Erik’s side of the story, now I think it’s time for a different POV. Ladies and gentlemen of Tumblr, I now present You’ll Shoot Your Spine Eye Out: The Groovy Times of Charles Xavier. WARNING: THIS IS VERY, VERY LONG AND FULL OF GIFS. I BLAME IT ON THE FACT THAT I’M CREATING THIS SINCE THE GREAT MCFASSY EXPLOSION ON TUMBLR AND THEREFORE THERE ARE TONS MORE GIFS AVAILABLE THAN WHAT WAS AVAILABLE FOR MY PREVIOUS POSTS. ANYWAY.
WATCH AS CHARLES IMPRESSES THE CROWD WITH HIS MANLY DRINKING ABILITIES AND HIS LUSCIOUS LOCKS THAT HOLD LOTS OF SECRETS, THAT’S WHY IT’S SO LUSCIOUS.
WATCH AS CHARLES TRIES TO BE A SMOOTH OPERATOR. OH CHARLES DON’T WORRY YOU ARE ~TOTALLY~ HETEROSEXUAL.
WATCH AS CHARLES CASUALLY AND LIKE A BOSS INFORMS THE CIA THAT HE CAN READ THEIR MINDS. I IMAGINE THAT PLAYING CHARADES AGAINST THIS GUY IS A TOTAL BUZZKILL.
WATCH AS CHARLES DIVES INTO THE OCEAN TO RESCUE A MAN HE HAS NEVER MET BEFORE. THAT CHARLES, HE’S A NOBLE ONE. OR SO DESPERATE FOR A SHAG THAT HE’LL RISK DROWNING JUST FOR A PIECE OF ALBEIT REALLY REALLY HOT ASS.
WATCH AS CHARLES SIT THERE CONSUMED WITH LUST OVER THIS SIX FOOT TALL HANDSOME SHARK OF A NAZI HUNTER.
WATCH AS CHARLES REALIZES THAT THE SHINY HELMET HANK MAKES HIM WEAR NOT ONLY OPENS HIS MIND TO OTHER MUTANTS, BUT TO ERIK’S SEXUAL FANTASIES. NEEDLESS TO SAY, CHARLES IS ME GUSTA-ING LIKE NO ONE HAS EVER ME GUSTA-ED BEFORE.
WATCH AS CHARLES TOASTS HIMSELF FOR PROJECTING HIS FANTASIES OF ERIK IN DRAG AND PLAYS IT OFF LIKE IT AIN’T NO THANG. IT’S ALL FOR THE MUTANT CAUSE, YOU SEE. CHARLES KNOWS HE HOLDS THE KEY TO EVERLASTING PEACE BETWEEN HUMANS AND MUTANTS, AND THE KEY IS ERIK LEHNSHERR IN PANTYHOSE AND A GARTER BELT.
WATCH AS CHARLES USES HIS ABILITIES TO LURE ERIK INTO HIS BED. WATCH AS HE CONTEMPLATES USING SAID ABILITIES TO MAKE ERIK PAT HIM JUST A LITTLE HIGHER UP ON THE LEG.
WATCH AS CHARLES MANAGES ONCE AGAIN TO BROADCAST HIS EXTREMELY HETEROSEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT ERIK. CHARLES, YOU ARE THE WORLD’S STRONGEST TELEPATH, THIS IS STARTING TO BECOME EMBARRASSING.
WATCH AS ERIK ACTS LIKE A TOTAL DICK ABOUT CHARLES’ UPRBINGING. WATCH AS CHARLES GIVES HIM A BITCHFACE BUT SAYS NOTHING BECAUSE HE UNDERSTANDS THAT ERIK ACTS LIKE A COCK BECAUSE HE IS TRAUMATIZED AND HURTING AND NAZIS AND ALL THAT.
WATCH AS CHARLES TRIES TO IGNORE THE FACT THAT HIS LIFE HAS SUDDENLY BECOME AN NC-17 PROMPT FILLED ON 1STCLASS_KINK.
WATCH AS CHARLES INNOCENTLY ASKS ERIK IF HE CAN PENETRATE HIS MIND. FUCK, CHARLES, I AM SITTING HERE IN AWE OF YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY. I MEAN, REALLY, MAN. THE WIGGLING FINGERS ARE A NICE ADDED TOUCH, REAL ROMANTIC AND SMOOTH, LOTHARIO. YOU ARE LUCKY THAT ERIK IS SO DESPERATE TO BE LOVED THAT HE DOESN’T REALIZE THAT YOU ARE BASICALLY ASKING FOR PERMISSION TO FINGER HIM.
WATCH AS CHARLES BEMOANS HIS CONSTANT STATE OF NEVERENDING SEXUAL FRUSTRATION AND TRIES TO STOP HIMSELF FROM ASKING ERIK TO SHOW HIM HIS TEETH.
WATCH THE AFTERMATH OF WHAT IS THE MOST INTIMATE SEX SCENE WITH NO PHYSICAL PENETRATION EVER ON FILM. THIS IS THE MOMENT WHERE CHARLES STOPS THINKING WITH HIS COCK AND REALIZES JUST HOW MUCH HE TRULY LOVES THIS BEAUTIFUL, FLAWED, BROKEN MAN AND HOW MUCH HE WANTS TO TAKE ALL OF ERIK’S SHATTERED PIECES AND PUT THEM BACK TOGETHER SO THAT ERIK CAN FINALLY FIND THE PEACE THAT’S ELUDED HIM HIS ENTIRE LIFE.
WATCH AS THE EPIC GAY LOVE AFFAIR IS INTERRUPTED BY SOME SILLY END OF THE WORLD BUSINESS. ARE THE TWO OF THEM TALKING ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT THEY’RE PREPARED TO SAVE THE WORLD? OR ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT THEIR FIRST FORRAY INTO S&M? WE WILL NEVER KNOW.
WATCH AS CHARLES LOOKS ON WITH LOVE AND PRIDE AT ERIK FINDING THE POINT BETWEEN RAGE AND SERENITY. YOU CAN PRACTICALLY HEAR CHARLES SCREAMING, “THAT’S RIGHT, BITCHES, THIS IS MY FUCKING BOYFRIEND RIGHT HERE! LOOK AT THIS MOTHERFUCKING FLY ASS GQ JAMES BOND MOTHERFUCKER LIFTING SUBMARINES OUT OF THE WATER LIKE A BOSS!”
WATCH AS CHARLES MAKES THE ULTIMATE SACRIFICE OF NOT ONLY HIS OWN MENTAL WELL-BEING, BUT HIS MORALS. LET’S DISCUSS THIS FOR A MINUTE, SHALL WE? CHARLES BELIEVES IN THE GOOD OF HUMANITY. HE HAS MADE IT HIS ENTIRE LIFE’S MISSION TO NOT ONLY SHAG ERIK SENSELESS, BUT TO PULL HIM OUT OF HIS WEEPY NAZI-HUNTING DARKNESS AND INTO THE LIGHT. HE HAS DONE EVERYTHING HE CAN TO PERSUADE ERIK INTO NOT KILLING SHAW. AND EVEN THOUGH ERIK IS A MOTHERFUCKING RAT BASTARD WHO PURPOSELY CUTS CHARLES OUT OF HIS MIND, CHARLES STILL HOLDS ONTO SHAW TELEPATHICALLY (DID I SPELL THAT RIGHT I DON’T KNOW I THINK THE GAY HAS BROKEN MY ABILITY TO SPELL). JUST SO SHAW CAN’T RETALIATE. JUST SO ERIK WON’T DIE. CHARLES SETS ASIDE HIS OWN MORALS FOR THE SAKE OF ERIK.
WATCH AS CHARLES RECOVERS FROM THE TRAUMA OF HAVING A COIN SLOWLY DRILLED THROUGH HIS SKULL AND WONDERS WHETHER OR NOT ERIK’S PROWESS IN BED IS ENOUGH FORGIVE HIM FOR THIS. BECAUSE REALLY, THAT IS AN ASSHOLE THING TO DO TO YOUR BOYFRIEND, ERIK. I MEAN REALLY.
WATCH AS CHARLES READS THE MINDS OF THE ARMIES AIMING MISSILES AT THEM. I IMAGINE IN THE DVD THE SUBTITLES UNDERNEATH THE SCREEN WILL READ SHIT JUST GOT REAL.
WATCH AS CHARLES DECLARES HIS LOVE FOR ERIK, WHICH CAUSES ERIK TO ABANDON HIS PLANS FOR WORLD DOMINATION FOR THE TIME BEING IN FAVOR OF NOT SO TENDER SEX ON THE BEACH. THEY DO IT FOUR TIMES IN A ROW AND IT IS BEAUTIFUL. OH WAIT, NO, THIS ISN’T WHAT HAPPENED.
WATCH AS INSTEAD OF SAYING THE ABOVE, CHARLES XAVIER OPENS HIS FUCKING MOUTH AND SAYS THE WORST POSSIBLE THING IN THE WORLD. CHARLES, YOU ARE A SMART MAN. AND YOU JUST TOLD A FUCKING HOLOCAUST SURVIVOR THAT THE MEN TRYING TO KILL HIM ARE GOOD MEN, JUST FOLLOWING ORDERS. THE AMOUNT OF EVENS THAT I CANNOT RIGHT NOW. SIR, YOU ARE IN DESPERATE NEED OF UPPERCLASS WHITE BOY PRIVILEGE CHECK 101.
WATCH AS ERIK UNDERSTANDABLY LOSES HIS SHIT AND CHARLES PULLS A STUPID MOVE AND GETS INTO A FIGHT WITH A FUCKING NAZI HUNTER. REALLY CHARLES? HUMANITY IS JUST SO PRECIOUS THAT YOU JUST HAVE TO GET INTO A FIST FIGHT WITH AN UNOFFICIAL MEMBER OF THE INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS?
WATCH AS CHARLES GETS SHOT IN THE MOTHERFUCKING SPINE. WATCH AS ERIK HAS TO RUB IT IN WITH HIS SASSY LITTLE HIP SWAY. THAT DOUCHEBAG.
WATCH AS CHARLES SCREAMS IN AGONY BECAUSE HE JUST GOT SHOT IN THE SPINE BY HIS SOULMATE. THIS IS NOT WHAT CHARLES MEANT WHEN HE TALKED ABOUT GETTING ROUGH IN THE BEDROOM, ERIK.
WATCH AS CHARLES TURNS DOWN ERIK’S MARRIAGE PROPOSAL DUE TO ERIK TURNING INTO A CRAY CRAY MACHIAVELLIAN EVIL OVERLORD IN A FIVE-MINUTE SPAN. DOES YOUR HEART HURT OVER THE INJUSTICE OF ALL THIS? JACK AND ROSE AND JACK AND ENNIS HAVE NOTHING ON THESE TWO.
WATCH AS CHARLES MAKES A TOTALLY OMNIOUS JOKE ABOUT HIS HAIR TO HIDE HIS PAIN OVER LOSING THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE. HE MAY NOT BE ABLE TO WALK, BUT GODDAMN IT, IF HE LOSES HIS HAIR, HIS LIFE MAY AS WELL BE OVER. PRIORITIES, EVERYONE. CHARLES XAVIER HAS THEM. NO WONDER ERIK FUCKING LEFT HIS ASS.
WATCH AS CHARLES REALIZES THAT HE MUST WIPE THE MEMORIES OF HIS DEAR FRIEND AND A REPLACEMENT FOR ERIK MOIRA. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MEET CHARLES XAVIER, FOREVER ALONE.
Well I would have reblogged this regardless, but THE SONG GUYS THE SONG
Yeah, remember that time I said I wasn't getting into X-men fandom? Remember that? When I said, "Oh, sure, it's gay as all fucking get out, and I've shipped it for /ages/, really, but no, no, I'm not actually joining fandom, I'm just scrolling through their kink meme. I'm not actually going to /write/ anything for it, Christ. *scoff*" Remember that?
Ha, well, forget it.
I should really have learned my lesson by now. After Trek fandom and Inception fandom…… But no. No, I have not. Fuck you, kink meme. Just… Fuck you.
That awkward moment when you're watching your favorite theoretical physicist talk about building starships, and the moment he mentions antimatter and plasma your first thought is: "Oh my gods, it's exactly like the warp cores in Star Trek!" You then look around the room to make sure no one is nearby laughing at you.
Patti Smith and Robert Mapplethorpe weren't always famous, but they always thought they would be. They found each other, adrift but determined, on the streets of New York City in the late '60s and made a pact to keep each other afloat until they found their voices--or the world was ready to hear them. Lovers first and then friends as Mapplethorpe discovered he was gay--
“Lovers first and then friends as Mapplethorpe discovered he was gay”
“Lovers first and then friends as Mapplethorpe discovered he was gay”
”Lovers first and then friends as Mapplethorpe discovered he was gay”
Two years ago, while shopping at Walmart of all places with my family on vacation (in the middle of nowhere, between Nashville and Knoxville, if that explains why we were at Walmart at all), I found a t-shirt printed with the cover of the Rolling Stone issue announcing Kurt Cobain’s death. With the t-shirt came a free one year subscription to Rolling Stone. Clearly, it had to be mine.
About halfway through that year, Patti Smith’s autobiography was released. I’d already been a huge fan of Patti Smith, being the punk rock kid I was (am). Needless to say, I was incredibly fucking excited.
And then there was the issue in which Rolling Stone printed excerpts from the book, specifically the ones about Patti’s relationship with Robert Mapplethorpe.
A year and a half later, I still can’t get over how fucking beautiful it is.
That awkward moment when you're sitting in the back of your friend's pickup truck at midnight and he sees a weird light in the sky, so he immediately assumes aliens, and your reaction is: "No, it can't be aliens. First contact isn't until 2063."
When I was little—by this I mean four or five, when I had long hair and thought my backyard was a forest—I would never buy a dress that didn’t pass the spin test. I would stand in the dressing room in my 90s kid jelly sandals and spin in circles in front of the mirror as fast as I could, blue eyes wide and hair whipping around my head. Finally I would hit the perfect rhythm, and then I would look down and watch the fabric spin. If it unfurled the right way, wide and full around small, tanned legs, like the kind of gown a princess might wear, then I knew it had to be mine.
I was the kind of girl who would come home, immediately insist on wearing her new dress, and run straight outside to play Star Wars or knights and dragons. I was the kind of girl who reveled in the way her new dress flared out behind her as she sped down the hilll her neighborhood was built on, not hitting the brakes until the last possible second.
Click ^ to read an interesting article. I disagree with the title, though. Yes, gender is becoming something that people are finally seeing, and not just in a woman-versus-man sort of way. But if you read the public responses to any of the examples of “progress” quoted by the article, you’ll see far more vitriol than acceptance. There is still a long way to go.
Thinking about that prompted me to post what I believe will be the timeline for GLB+ and T* acceptance in America. This is what I think will happen, if change continues to progress at its current rate, without any major setbacks or revolutions to make things go faster. It is possible that, in this technological era, progress will speed up over time, as information is able to travel faster and faster and as people are able to virtually travel around the country and see the effects (or non-effects) of progress on-the-ground, as it takes place. But that is somewhat impossible to know for sure; this is just my intuition talking.
Just a note on language - by “legal,” I mean that people have the same rights as everyone else and are not legally discriminated against in any way. (i.e. people can marry whomever they wish; people are not fired for being GLB+ or T*) However, legality of issues often precedes national public acceptance of said issues. By “accepted,” I mean that 65% or more of the population (in every state) favours the issue. That still leaves a lot of room for contention and dissidence; so I wouldn’t consider the issues to be ”normalized” until 95% of the population is on board with the current policies.
One other thing: as I’m sure you’ve noticed, I do not approach this question of future for GLBT+ people as a whole; I firmly believe that binary and especially nonbinary T* issues are not anywhere near as far along as GLB+ issues and that the issue of binary constructed gender is one that is only *just* beginning to edge on our public consciousness. GLB+ issues have had a head-start, with civil union / marriage issues beginning to be discussed over a decade ago. Binary T* issues are becoming something we’ve thought about for a few years. But nonbinary T* issues are still very much a new thing and for those issues to progress, we really have to work as a country on deconstructing a binary that has existed for hundreds of years, which means eliminating the hierarchy and stratification that currently exists according to gender. This is going to take a long time. (I also believe that eventually, as the binary is deconstructed, it will become less important and the distinction between binary and nonbinary T* identities will become less important and thus will progress at roughly the same rate, but that might be saying too much here!) I have reflected this gap in this timeline by differentiating between the progress of GLB+ issues and the progress of binary and nonbinary T* issues, respectively.
In any case, without further ado, this is what I project for our future:
5-10 years from now: GLB+ issues legal in 40+ states. 7-12 years from now: Binary T* issues legal in 40+ states. 10-20 years from now: GLB+ issues accepted in 40+ states, legal in all. 10-15 years from now: Nonbinary T* issues legal in 40+ states. 15-25 years from now: Binary T* issues accepted in 40+ states, legal in all. 20-30 years from now: GLB+ issues normalized in 40+ states, accepted in all. 20-30 years from now: Nonbinary T* issues accepted in 40+ states, legal in all. 35-50 years from now: Binary and Nonbinary T* issues normalized in 40+ states, accepted in all.
Basically, I think we’ve got a long way to go. Which means that in spite of our apparent progress, we’ve got to be prepared to keep fighting for many many more years. Even still, I’m pretty confident that these sort of changes will be complete within my lifetime and that my children will live in a world where at least active discrimination against GLBT+ people will be just another of those crazy, stupid things people did before they learned better.
Keep fighting, Shay
Alwyn and I have been having conversations about this for several months now, especially since I came out as genderqueer and have been dealing with more gender issues. And this^^ describes it perfectly, I think. (Also, read the article, if you haven’t already. It’s really interesting, even though I think they’re getting a bit ahead of themselves.)
Okay, so it's one of those silly internet fortune telling things
But the “diagnosis” they gave me was just so nice. I would be perfectly happy with that being a past life of mine.
Your past life diagnosis:
I don’t know how you feel about it, but you were male in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere in the territory of modern Borneo around the year 1225. Your profession was that of a designer, engineer or craftsman.
Your brief psychological profile in your past life: Seeker of truth and wisdom. You could have seen your future lives. Others perceived you as an idealist illuminating path to future.
The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation: Your lesson is to develop a kind attitude towards people, and to acquire the gift of understanding and compassion.