Agent Coulson: Mr. Stark, thanks for coming to your performance review.
Tony: No problem.
Agent Coulson: So you’re in charge around here, is that fair to say?
Tony: Absolutely, I’m a Stark.
Agent Coulson: Well, so take us through a day in the life of, “a Stark”.
Tony: Well the first thing I do is—
Talk to SHIELD (like a Stark) Approve contracts (like a Stark) Kick some ass (like a Stark) Remember meetings (like a Stark) Direct the government (like a Stark) My own mansion (like a Stark) Daddy issues (like a Stark) Promote peace (like a Stark)
Hit on Pepper (like a Stark) Get rejected (like a Stark) Shrug my shoulders (like a Stark) Get some death threats (like a Stark) Call the Cap (like a Stark) Make a date (like a Stark) Flirt with everyone (like a Stark) Eat a doughnut (like a Stark)
Court summons (like a Stark) Insult senators (like a Stark) 5th of vodka (like a Stark) Fondue with Steve (like a Stark) Put on my suit (like a Stark) Battle Rhodey (like a Stark) Oh shit man, fuck, he’s gonna totally beat me!
Fly away (like a Stark) Puke on Hammer’s desk (like a Stark) Lead the Avengers (like a Stark) Suck Steve’s dick (like a Stark) Score some booze (like a Stark) Crash my suit (like a Stark) Suck my own dick (like a Stark) Eat some more doughnuts (like a Stark)
Drink all the liquor (like a Stark) Black out in my office (like a Stark) Get saved by Cap (like a Stark) Fuck his brains out (like a Stark) Turn on my jet boots (like a Stark) Save the world (like a Stark) Get paralyzed (like a Stark) Now I’m dead (like a Stark)
Agent Coulson: Uh huh. So that’s an… average day for you then.
Tony: No doubt.
Agent Coulson: You save the world and die.
Tony: Hell yeah.
Agent Coulson: And I think at one point there you said something about sucking your own dick?
Agent Coulson: Actually, I’m pretty sure you did.
Tony: Nah, that ain’t me.
Agent Coulson: OK, well this has been eye-opening for me.
Tony: I’m a Stark.
Agent Coulson: Ya, I know, I got that. You said it about 400 times.
Crowley found him on the pavement outside, trying to extricate a rather squishy dove from the arm of his frock coat.
“It’s late,” said Aziraphale.
“I can see that,” said Crowley. “Comes of sticking it up your sleeve.” He reached out and pulled the limp bird from Aziraphale’s coat, and breathed life back into it. The dove cooed appreciatively and flew off, a trifle warily.
I mean maybe not everyone will think so, but this is poor Aziraphale with his fail!magic act and he’s got cream cake on his face and a dead bird up his sleeve and he’s waterlogged because he had to change all the gun-guns into water pistols and Crowley, big bad demon Crowley with vices out the ass, comes over and pulls the dead bird out of his husband’s sleeve and brings it back to life—
DID YOU SEE THAT
A DEMON BREATHING LIFE
INTO A BIRD
BECAUSE HIS HUSBAND IS A SILLY WATERLOGGED MAGICIAN ANGEL WITH CAKE ON HIS FACE.
“Mathilde stitched while William the Conqueror was off to war. She was capable of… more than loyalty. Devotion. She waited for him, she stitched for years. And if he had come back broken and defeated from war, she would have loved him even more. And if he had returned mutilated, ugly, full of infection and horror, she would still have loved him; fed by pity, by a sharing of pain, she would love him even more, and even more, and she would never, never have prayed to God, please let him die if he can’t return to me whole and healthy and able to live a normal life. …if he had died, she would have buried her heart with him. So what the fuck is the matter with me?”—Louis (Angels in America, Act 2 Scene 3)
Random fact about you: I have been told that my intense desire to live somewhere north is insane. I currently live in Cleveland, and it’s still not north enough for me. I’m thinking about Toronto.
Hobbies/Interests: Reading (fic, fiction, nonfiction, whatever), writing, spending more time on tumblr than I really should, watching hockey and football (while most of my friends give me strange looks), discussing philosophy and other pretentiously academic things. Singing/dancing, even though I am awful at both.
Do you smoke/drink: No/yes. I don’t like to party as much as some of the people I know, but anyone who knows me will tell you that I can really hold my liquor. Which, like most everything else, I blame on my Italian genes.
Why Tumblr?: Because Cecily wouldn’t shut up until I finally broke down and got one. And I don’t even try to say no to her anymore.
I mean, anything is better than high school. And I have great friends, and I’m really loving it.
But I miss my ABG bros so much. I miss being involved in fandom more than just checking tracked tags on tumblr. I miss being up till inadvisable hours of the morning on tinychat because all my bros are bad influences. God help me, I miss not having a life.